Dropping these 20 pounds definitely wasn't what I was expecting!
As I'm slowly getting back into the swing of making videos and writing blogs again, I have to let you all know I haven't been missing for the past 5 months because I lost my passion. I took the past 5 months to focus on me, and one of the biggest things was building my confidence in myself and my body again.
I had lost a significant amount of confidence in myself through multiple events that happened in the past few months and I didn't want to sit around and accept it. I wanted to make a change. You might have seen glimpses of it through my working out in the real world blog and essential oils blog, but my change was deeper than that.
Why I wasn't incredibly proud of my weight loss
It wasn't healthy. I went through about two months of constant stress, from wondering where I was going to live, to my car dying out of no where and getting a new one (that had problems in the beginning), to working 24/7 for my job just to be laid off from that same job, to developing stress induced psoriasis (that I'm still struggling with btw) I mean the list goes on! Through that time, I ended up losing about 10 pounds just from stress alone.
I was forgetting to eat lunch at work, going to pilates to clear my head and having no appetite afterwards. It was not great. I curiously stepped on the scale one day and realized I had dropped 10 pounds and was happy!... for only a few minutes. I then wondered more than anything... why.
Going through my head to wonder why I had such a dramatic weight loss, I first thought of pilates, then I thought it was because I was eating smaller portion sizes, just to come to the realization... I was actually forgetting to eat, not fueling my body for workouts, in a constant state of stress and wasn't paying attention to how badly I had let my life circumstances effect my body.
Unfortunately, it wasn't until I had developed the stress induced psoriasis that it finally clicked for me.
I needed to make a change for the better and I needed to make it ASAP.
Why I'm extremely proud of my weight loss now
That isn't me anymore! While I dropped the 10 pounds initially, I decided to make a mental shift from I'm so happy I'm getting skinny to I don't care if I get skinny, I need to get healthy. I was tired of living in a constant state of stress, so I took time to focus on my mental clarity by using essential oils, reading (which I had never done for fun before), journaling my days, going to pilates ONLY when I had properly fueled myself before, starting yoga, and taking more time for my skin care routine at night to feel my best.
From there, I changed the hardest part of all: my diet.
I didn't try out some crazy fad diet or even consider a diet at all! I just made sure I was aware of when I was eating, what I was eating and decided whether or not I felt it was good for me.
I didn't force myself to eat skinless chicken because it was healthier, I chose parmesan crusted chicken because I knew I would eat it and enjoy it. I didn't throw out my pasta because it has sooo many carbs, I ate the pasta, but added veggies and laid off some of the cheese. I didn't cut out in-n-out completely because it was unhealthy, I treated myself to it because it would make me happy, but only on Friday's and I HAD to workout the next day if I did.
I chose happiness, and that is the only choice I needed to make.
So, the title of this definitely explains the truth! I didn't drop 20 pounds because of consistency and workouts and meal preps and diets. I dropped 10 pounds because of poor choices, but made a change and dropped the other 10 because I chose to live my life, work hard, and be happy, and those 10 pounds lost have been the most rewarding.
My point of telling you this is not to go stress yourself out to lose weight or be happy about losing weight because of unhealthy practices. It's actually quite the opposite.
Be aware of what you are putting your body through and always put yourself, your health and your happiness FIRST.
This by no means was easy, as this has by far been one of the most difficult times in my life. I've had to put every area of my life as a priority, between my new job, my health, finances, side-hustles, mental clarity and social life and that has taken a huge amount of dedication and effort, but it has been paying off in more tremendous ways than I ever could have thought.
I had never felt more down about myself than when I realized I dropped 10 pounds and developed a skin condition because of the stress that I had let myself endure (yes, I let myself get that stressed.)
When you know you're stressed and do nothing about it to make a positive change, we are intentionally putting our body through the stress. We can't always control what happens to us, but we can always control how we react and move forward with it.
I still have more progress to be made (hoping to drop another healthy 10 and get back to my pre-college athlete body lol) and I hope to take you guys along with me :)
Love you all more than you know <3